


Between Earth and Hades

by Wristic



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Bullying, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2018-11-11 13:19:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11149245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wristic/pseuds/Wristic
Summary: Nearly old enough to be leaving high school, your mutant abilities have yet to manifest. In a school rebuilt and starting anew, filled with battered mutants, some are very prejudice against humans the way humans are prejudice against them, bagging a relief for their frustrations on you, the most human of them all. Professor Erik Lehnsherr spots the bullying and decided it’s time you found yourself.(While they do have a teacher/student relationship, the romance doesn't really start until after that has passed)





	1. Chapter 1

Lunch time at the Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters and you were alone on the stone steps of the patio. A deep sigh took you watching the kids play basketball. One was half beast, sandy hair growing all over, too thick for someone so young, claws and pointed teeth, jumping around on all fours. Another teleporting around, another with white eyes predicting with impeccable accuracy where the ball would land, another lifting the ground under her feet to catch the ball.

Your tray of food was suddenly grabbed as a few other students walked by. Kids you’d gotten rather acquainted with since your first month, unfortunately.

“Won’t need this will you. Humans are _excellent_ scavengers,right?”

Most liked the idea of humans integrating with them, other preferred the safe space, and then there was you. This mutant that didn’t have a power or a deformity. What good was your x-gene if you were as basic as a human? It put you away from both parties, mutants resolving to calling you human, humans cautious to let you close as a mutant, both calling you an impostor.

These bullies had a lot of frustrations toward humans, and since you were no better than one, took those frustrations into humiliating and badgering you. It was hard to keep telling yourself a mansion with a few bullies was better than the streets.

Their words abruptly drifted and you didn’t think anything of it, not until it changed to, “W-we were just messing around. We didn’t mean it.”

Brow lifted in curiosity, you looked up to see them wide eyed and shocked at something behind you. Turning around you were met with the looming figure of Erik Lehnsherr, one of the schools very founders. He didn’t seem too perturbed with them, an amused smirk barely contained. Erik nodded, them finishing their stumbling and running away. The fact he didn’t reprimand them, didn’t really defend you even after claiming he wasn’t hostile to humans anymore, you were bristled for homo-sapiens everywhere, even if you couldn’t show it. “Thanks.” It sounded as sincere as a crying crocodile.

“ _Are_ you human?”

You wanted to say no, wanted to find some pride for what was in your veins, to be apart of the people around you, but what was the point, what was the use of denying that it just wasn’t enough. Dejectedly you dropped your gaze to the ground. “Yeah. Sure. I’m human.”

“That’s not how I remember it. And the files don’t lie.” Surprisingly he sat down beside you, aftershave strong in the wind. He tilted his head at you with a charming smile, not knowing how hard your heart was beating to see him so close after your one and only encounter. The day Erik and Ororo came to pick you up. Even way back then you wanted to say it was a mistake, but how could you when a dashing older man you had immediately fallen in love with was leading you to a warm car and promising you a home and education. Saying you were special and gifted, a young girl with him to help ease you, pride in her beautiful eyes to have found you and save you from the cold. Honestly you thought he’d forgotten about you. 

You sighed heavy, adjusting because a part of you wanted to run away from your girly little crush for an older man, a teacher. “Well I haven’t seen anything that says otherwise.”

“What have you tried?”

Gesturing out into the courtyard, filled with young people and all their abilities and changes, “How hard should I really have to try? Everyone else finds it on their own like it’s a walk in the park.”

Erik only gave a knowing smile. “For most it wasn’t. Sometimes it takes the right circumstance.”

The chuckle that escaped you was bitter. “Right. Like living on the streets wasn’t an optimal chance. Or how about dealing with school bullies? No pressure to find an ability in there.”

“There have been hints.” he chimed, you looked to him hoping he’d seen something and it must have shown, Erik looking away to avoid the sudden disappointment that followed. “There are always hints you try to deny at first. What’s the first thing that comes into mind when you think of something that didn’t quite fit. That caught your attention but you brushed it off.”

You opened your mouth but quickly closed it, deciding no, that wasn’t significant enough. He leaned over and bumped your shoulder with his. In a huff, you felt so stupid even having it pop in your head. “I don’t have any roommate.” You confessed. “Nobody sleeps in my room because they think it’s haunted. Apparently shadows move and ghosts walk around there. I’ve had people run out screaming in the middle of the night. Professor Xavier offered me a different room after reassuring me nothing was in there but,” you shrugged, “I’ve never seen anything.” 

Erik only hummed, looking off into the courtyard. Abruptly he stood up, “Keep searching. The answer is in there, it’s only a matter of tapping into the right channel.”

* * *

Erik’s alarm went off, two in the morning, time to argue with Charles about the privacy of students. Grabbing his tired and reluctant friend they both walked the halls, Charles having a hard time keeping his whisper down to not alert the kids. It was the same lecture every night for the past two weeks. He shouldn’t be going into students rooms without their permission. Shouldn’t do it while they’re sleeping. Shouldn’t drag him along to make sure you wouldn’t wake.

But if Erik knew anything about being a mutant, it was that denial was strong, denial could hinder the abilities into utter submission on occasion. So he wanted to see this ghost. Chances were you were probably a telepathic whose abilities manifested without the constraints of the waking world.

Slowing his approach, he cut Charles off. “Awake or asleep?” For all his bickering, Charles quelled his temper and concentrated.

“Asleep. She’s in the midst of a nightmare.”

“About what?” His old friend only gave him a terse look, one Erik returned with an amused knowing that Charles would cave.

“Shadows. Shades grabbing and pulling, trying to consume with no real reason.”

“Hm. Interesting.” Almost as interesting as your nightlight that didn’t always work. The fact someone your age had one at all was adorable. 

Erik’s footfalls were as light as a feather, only planning to stand in the center while you slept, see if he could feel this ghost. A ghost he was sure it wasn’t.

He didn’t even get past the door. Both his and Charles’ blood ran cold when they opened it to find a shadow, a pitch black shade in the vague shape of a person looming over you. The moonlight nor the nightlight reflected off it. It was a void, a complete absence of color. Despite its skin crawling appearance, despite Charles giving a warning call, Erik stepped closer. It didn’t move. Just staring at you, bent at the shoulders, boring into your sleeping face. You were fitful in your sleep, breathing heavy with the anxiety of a nightmare.

Outstretching a hand, Erik’s fingers tipped into the shade, the tips lightly darkening until they disappeared within its frame. He felt no heat or cold, no sensation of any kind but the soft whip of his fingers on the air.

“Erik!” Xavier’s whisper was hard, panic for his safety with the ghostly form slowly turned its faceless head to look at him. There was a pull in it, like it was siphoning something, a consciousness into itself, eating it away into obscurity. Your nightmare faded from his mind, you faded from his mind, yet you were still breathing lively like the vision still tormented you. 

Erik smirked, dropping his hand out of the ‘ghost’. In a deep commanding shout he called your name, making you jolt from bed. The shade fizzled away like ink spreading in water before you could see it. Erik didn’t wipe off his prideful smirk, not knowing the sheer amount of confusion running through Charles’ head. He turned on the light before you could really gather yourself, the sudden shift from night to day squinting your eyes in mild pain. You were cute in your grogginess, the slight crackle in your voice humoring him. “Professor Lehnsherr? What are you doing here?”

“Are you afraid of the dark?” he came to sit on the bed next to you, leaning in so you ignored Charles. He wanted this success to be between you and him. You were lost to Charles among the harder suffering, the mutants that needed control rather than the ones that needed to shine. You glanced over at your nightlight, but couldn’t admit the little shame. “I want you to think of the dark. Think of it all around you, surrounding you, _pulling_ at you. Focus on that fear.”

Charles came to him in warning. “I don’t know if fear is where it should come from-” but Erik raised a hand to block him.

“Give it form. Make it alive. Put it under an iron fist of your will.” Again Charles felt that was the wrong approach, only able to say so in the worried wrinkle of his brow. You paused in caution, probably finding it off Erik could unsuspectingly allude to the chaos of your dream so perfectly. Taking a heavy sigh you closed your eyes. It was a quiet moment, you digging deep to draw up the fear and look it in the face.

The world around began to dim. Looking to the ceiling it misted in darkness, the light bulb turning a deep yellow behind the shadow as it descended, falling like a thick blindness until the room was almost completely thrust into darkness. Erik reached for you gently, a hand on your shoulder and it suddenly stopped, you distracted by the warmth. “What you’re feeling, keep it… and open your eyes. Try not to be frightened, remember, you are the one in command.”

You did as instructed, eyes jumping wide to see the world a shadow, the floor glowing and shifting like a barely lit candle.

“You want the light to come back?” your breath was quick, a small panic Erik would have felt regret to of caused had he not felt excited, honored to release your truest self. “Make the darkness submit.”

The steely look in your eyes was something to be admired. This want to trust him but determined to keep fighting what you thought you knew was true. With a slow breath you looked up to the light, so little of it left it was a shock to see the smallest remnant of the fuse.

The mist began to lift and fade, rising high as it emerged the light it had covered. Him, you, and Charles watched in fascination, the world lift from darkness till it was bright and untouched, all the shadows in their natural places.

Hearing your gasp, the look of shock on you nearly sent him laughing. Instead he smiled, rising. “I hope this puts an end to the ‘human or mutant’ debate.”

You beamed at him, rising from the bed and staring into the light. He watched you, a new bright confidence as you raised your hand and slowly closed it. The closer your fingers edged to a fist, the fuller the darkness became until for the briefest of moments, the moment before you got scared, Erik was almost blind to the world.

_I felt a consciousness stretch and disappear inside the apparition._

Erik glanced back to Charles, worry still in his face.

_The darkness… it’s more than just a shadow. It’s a void. Both mental and physical. I felt you two drift from me just a moment ago._

A smirk played again on Erik, _That almost sounds like it frightens you._

_There are not many ways to hide things from me Erik, be careful what you teach this one._

Erik couldn’t help the confusion, tilting his head when Charles gave him no answer, the room darkening once again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After discovering your abilities, you begin to perfect them in the training initiative on Erik’s behest. After catching you use that training for a darker purpose, tensions between you and him rise.

It was good to hear them scream. The sheer amount of panic that chorused out of your bullies when a dome of black fog descended around them and blocked off the hall. Your fist outstretched you laughed, not bothering to pick up the books they knocked out of your hands and scattered at your feet. This moment took all of your attention because you needed it, to see them back off when you were done tormenting them for not just keeping to them damn selves like everyone else.

A hard grip clamped around your wrist and yanked you back, pulling you out of your reverie. Erik was glaring at you, jaw set with what you knew was to be a lecture.

The fact he was protecting them burned under your skin. Ripping your hand free you missed your bullies run and stumble scared, their whimpering drowned out by the racing of your heart.

The anger in his face broke down. In a few blinks he sighed and slouched, disappointment in his words. Him expecting better from you wasn’t fair. “What are you doing?”

The students slowly picked up their pace, forcing themselves to ignore the situation far more interesting than going to class. You kicked your many papers strewn about the ground for exaggeration. “Protecting myself.”

His brow furrowed as he looked down, eyes reaching through the hall where your tormentors had run away. “That’s not the way to do it.”

“Ignoring them sure as hell didn’t work.”

“I agree but there are other ways-”

“You never stopped _them_.” you snapped, swaying on the other foot to a more challenging stance. Recognizing it Erik went a bit stiff, taking a deep breath to center himself and prepare for your paranoid assault. There was so much about you that reminded him of himself sometimes, finding a likeness that only strengthened to hear your anger spreading and worming its blame to many others like his so often did.

“This is different-”

You replied with the finality of a leader. “No it isn’t.”

A sense of pride swelled his heart, trying to remain stern but a grin fighting him nonetheless. Stepping closer he kept his voice level to you. “They were bullying, and you’re right, I should have been more direct in stopping them, but what you’re doing is revenge-”

You scoffed, crossing your arms defensively, “ _You_ wanna talk about avoiding revenge and taking the higher path? That’s cheap-”

When he barked your name you submitted and backed down looking attacked, him probably being the more wounded party. Dropping his gaze to avoid your blunt truth, he hoped you’d listen now. “I know… the things they said and did carved in an anger not easily sated, but we cannot fight each other. Don’t create a circle you can’t get out of, it only gets thicker the next time around.”

Looking at you pout in silence, it was clear the words didn’t sink. At least, likely not in the way he wanted.

* * *

After discovering your abilities, Erik thought it best you practice with them, taking the X-Men extra-curricular. It had been improving you marvelously as your attack earlier had shown, but he had a feeling today would be different. You were still furious with him, the frustration coming off in waves through your glare alone.

Among the others standing at attention, waiting for the go, you already had your plan set. You were going to pull him out, make him come into the fight. To what end you didn’t care, just that the rest get out of your way and you got a punch into your mentor. The day he decided to help would have been a good memory but all you could see was the four snickering and laughing, Erik not saying a damn thing, not forcefully pulling them back, not trying to lead them into good. You were retaliating and somehow _you_ got in trouble. That wasn’t right, that wasn’t _fair_.

When everyone was in their places, Erik, Charles, and Raven at the perimeter to supervise, three teams of five within their own corner to combat each other without interfering with the others, the buzzer sounded and black spilled from you like ink on water, fast and all encompassing the four beside you.

It was a strange way to see for you, your eyes seeing nothing but darkness, yet this sensation in your head let you know they were backing from you. You related it to someone sticking their finger in water, rippling and the water touching but not filling the extremity like a blank space. It would probably feel like chaos behind the eyes of anyone else, but to you, even their racing heartbeats shook the mist.

Erik smirked, watching your future teammates scramble to escape. Your reach wasn’t that far, _yet_ , but as soon as they left it they wearily looked to one another, silently agreeing they needed to take you out first. So was the natural order of things.

Watching the darkness keep you hidden as you ran was almost like watching a cape spinning on air, tendrils and clouds wisping silently from one side to the other, your team dodging its reach. You created apparitions to distract them, trick them into attacking each other. It was impossible to know if you’d taken any hits, the mist dissipating very rarely, you being able to move its entire length without giving your location.

What you didn’t know about your ability is that Erik could see you. Electroreception Hank called it, a similar wavelength he used to sense the metal in the earth and around him. The mist itself worked like water to heighten your senses, probably dulled when people were outside of it but clearly working enough to still tell where your teammates were.

Two had called it quits seeing as one mildly injured the other and got caught up in feeling bad for themselves, the third stormed out in pure frustration. The fourth was a fire elemental and stubborn to boot. She thought for sure her flames could bring you out, push back the darkness. Erik smirked behind his finger in anticipation for her to be proven wrong as she boastfully engulfed her body in fire and sent out a wave in an attempt to erase your shroud.

“Erik.” Startled he looked down at Charles, probably feeling the gleeful pride coming from him, Charles looking up with his usual concerned wrinkle.

Innocently Erik raised his brow. “What?”

“She’s angry.”

He scoffed off the concern, “She’s strong.” Looking back to Ivete she was shooting at a circled wall of shifting smoke while you casually walked outside of it, stopping in time for a fireball to miss you and erupt on the wall. Erik got lost in the performance again.

Raven called to him, a knowing smile when he came back just as innocent as before, her eyes telling him to take Charles a bit more seriously, who gladly ruined his mood, “You should know better than anyone strength shouldn’t come from a place of anger or fear. You need to teach her another way.”

“She’s young, there’s still a lot she needs to learn about herself.”

“She gave no pause to a teammate injuring the other.”

Erik rolled his eyes. “This is _combat training_ , a few scrapes and bruises are to be expected-”

“ _Erik_.” Raven shook her head at Charles’ deep warning tone, trying not to snicker at how Erik could be so blindsided with his favorites. Before he could defend further an embarrassing point was made, “She’s like this because of you, you know that. Fix it, you’re the only one who can.”

Giving a hard huff, Erik caved to their permissive pressure and stepped forward, tapping a fuming Ivete out, the girl almost immediately falling into her monkish meditation to calm herself next to her awaiting teammates.

Erik’s smile grew when the cloud didn’t lift, practically feeling you stand at the ready for an attack. “Are you really going to challenge me? You think that’s a good idea?” You didn’t reply, determined not to give away your position. He shrugged with a winning smile. “Alright, if you think it’s a good idea…”

The black descended on him, Erik standing still as you moved, brimming with confidence that you had the upper hand. Shifting a few feet behind him, you swung, as hard as you could for the back of his head.

Even in the mist you felt dizzy as you were spun, your arm curled behind you and his caging you at the throat. His heart was beating against your back, talking calmly against your ear.

“You want to take your anger out on me that’s fine,” The world spun again and you were dropped on the floor, knocking the wind clean out of you and the cloud from your protection, an arm at your throat to keep it that way. Erik wolfishly smiled down at you, your heart slamming out of your chest from more than the fight. “Because this is where you need to define who you want to become.”

His arm raised from your windpipe, you gasping and choking. Rasping for air he was still above, his hand now rested by your head. Erik’s eyes were far off now, remorseful. “Out there, what you do is definitive. There is no going back. It’s a stain that no matter what you do or where you go, it _never rubs out_. I think our earlier fight can attest to that. Do you understand now?”

Catching your breath you closed your eyes and nodded, unable to take the amount of weight that rested in his face, the very real warning of experience he was trying to relay to you. He worried about you, the first person to do so in a long time. That thought turned in your stomach with a mix you didn’t quite understand.

Rolling back on his heels Erik stood with his hand out, the grin returning as he lifted you to your feet.

The air relaxed and he finally asked what he’d been dying to for weeks. “Have you picked a name yet?”

You were shocked at first, brushing yourself off, and your eyes drifted as you got bashful, “Yeah I did some hardcore research and uh, I think I’ll go with Erebus.”

Erik chuckled, “The God of Shadows and Darkness.”

You shied away harder with him already knowing the name. Giving a hiding shrug you admitted, “It seemed to fit the ability. Is it too much?”

“Not at all. I think it’s perfect.”

You gulped and heated hearing the word roll from his lips, _perfect_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’ve since moved out of the Mansion and are partly striking it up on your own. Your own bare apartment, working a job that doesn’t actually pay, but now a member of the X-men. You’ve taken your fair share of hits but this one’s got everyone riled up, Erik going a step too far in keeping you safe.

Your footsteps were loud as they dragged on the carpet, the welcoming smell of your small apartment immediately dulling your eyes into sleep. You only bothered with turning on the kitchen light to see where you were going, shaking off your jacket and hissing as your shoulder blade flared up from the hard hit you took, unaware of a ricochet of debris that knocked you off balance and evaporated your main means of defense.

You weren’t called on too often, Charles wanting you to focus more on your internship than saving the day, but being apart of the X-men you were prone to coming home with a few bruises or a dozen. It was nothing and right now you were ready for three days of sleep, knowing you would have to wake up in five hours.

Make that less than five hours as a knock came at your door. With a hard groan and a slow turn, you went to the door to reassure Ivete and Ed for the tenth time you didn’t in fact need to see a doctor. The concern was heartwarming, even more so knowing it was genuine concern and not just Ivete being a team leader while Ed was being worrywort Ed, but it was way too late in the night for this. Opening the door, you froze.

“Professor Lehnsherr?”

Erik smirked at the formality you couldn’t seem to shake, walking by and into the apartment, nonchalant as if he did it all the time. “Saw you took a pretty bad hit tonight.”

Rolling your eyes so hard your head rolled back, you didn’t bother to quiet your groan as you shut the door. “Not you too!”

“It was close.” His voice drifted as he looked around at the near empty housing, “Closer than you seem to think…”

Letting your arms dangle you regretted it, wincing at the little throw. “It’s hard to guess where debris is going to fly, I’ll remember to duck next time.”

When you neared he tipped and turned, eyes tained more on your slumped shoulder than your face. “Lets see it.”

It was hard to hide how much of a spin that took you, forcing a scoff out of yourself to counter it. “It’s nothing-”

“Than let me see.” Taking a deep steadying breath, you turned around and pulled down the shoulder of your black tee, thankful it was X-men issued elastic. You felt your face heat as he tugged it down more, seeing the entirety of the deep bruise already formed. With his thumb he pressed it lightly, causing you to cry out and arch out of his reach.

Tossing the shirt back up, it was surprising to not see his usual smirk for that kind of teasing, instead he remained unusually somber about the whole thing. “You should get that checked out.”

You waved it off and gave a vague not-a-problem grunt, making for the bedroom. “I just need a good rest and I’ll be fine.” As much as you craved his presence, you were desperate for those few hours dwindling fast.

Feeling a hand on your waist startled you, halting and looking from it to Erik’s knitted face, your mouth going dry with a hard shift in emotions. “Tonight was too close.”

You tilted your head with a grin, trying so desperately to shake off the unease squeezing your chest. “It wasn’t _that_ close. I’ve taken worse hits in training-” He stepped closer, his hand seeming to warm under the urgent tension of his gaze.

“You were left exposed in a firefight. You-”

Against your better judgment you took a snarky edge. “That’s what my team is for.”

Erik searched in your eyes. There were tapes, recordings of the run for analysis, make sure your team didn’t miss anything or simply gauge techniques used. He didn’t know how to tell you his stomach dropped seeing your mist brush away and you cry out, falling down on one knee and holding your shoulder in agony. It wasn’t the hit that broke him in a cold sweat, it was the guards raising their weapons having finally found you. You were blind to all of it while it happened, but if it hadn’t been for Jan’s heightened animal speed and Ivete’s distraction you wouldn’t be standing in your apartment now, but filled with lead in a body bag. You thanked Jan for his quick rescue but didn’t truly understand how close you’d been to death. He wanted to tell you but every word caught in his throat. Swallowing them down he removed his hand as it itched to pull you closer and avoided meeting what would be your stubborn gaze.

“Maybe take a break, focus on your work like Charles wants.”

You snapped back confused like he knew you would. “I can do both.”

“It’s not about what you can and can’t do, you have a foundation of a future to start. Focus on that for now.” Erik put every ounce of his authority in his voice but you only scoffed at it.

“ _I can do both_! The X-men mean everything to me! It feels like where I’m meant to be, it’s where I want to be! You can’t just take that away on a bruise!”

Grinding his teeth, Erik huffed, “If you’re going to be stubborn about it than you leave me no choice but to forcefully remove you from the archive.”

Your stomach dropped, feeling woozy and taking a step back in shock. “You’re blacklisting me!?”

“Just…until you’ve healed-”

“I’ve broken _bones_ before! It’s just a bruise! Erik-”

“You’re not going in the field until I say so.” He held up a hand at your would-be argument, “ _That’s final_.” Erik slammed your own door on you, but he was unable to leave it knowing you were fuming on the other side. He stared at his feet, glued a few inches from the wood listening for anything inside. The sound of something crashing the proof that you were righteously furious with him. This was only for his peace of mind and he hated knowing that. You were strong, you always were. He shouldn’t be worrying as much as he was but Erik couldn’t let you go back into the field until he felt his hands stop shaking every time he thought of all those guns and bullets he wasn’t there to save you from.

* * *

“Hello Professor Xavier!” It may have been a cheery tone but Charles could feel the fury under your words. Part of him wanted to keep strolling along and avoid your and Erik’s unresolved tensions that always seem to come down on him, but sighing, that just wasn’t the kind of man he was.

“Hello how can-”

“You know Professor Lehnsherr blacklisted me from the X-men?”

Resisting the urge to groan, he nodded. “I do. Personally I think it’s-” he stopped himself feeling you ready to jump the gun again.

“But you’re going to take that ban off right? Because clearly he’s being ridiculous.”

Charles stared at you, entirely done being the middleman to these skirmishes. You raised your brow impatiently waiting for a response cause there was no way you were going to back out of this. Unclamping his jaw Charles calmly asked, “Did you think to ask him _why_ he worries so much about your safety?” You went to complain some more but he cut you off knowing it was going to be more of your mindlessly venting. “I’m aware you’re used to people underestimating you but you know Erik has always ever seen the best in you.”

You gulped and looked away, always so unshakable with your denial.

Rubbing his temple Charles reminded himself you two should work this out between yourselves, but this threatened to just rift you two further, both too stubborn to make up. And honestly he’d been having a rough week, there was no way he was going to deal with you two moping about, asking him what you should do. You guys wanted guidance, you were going to get it.

“Go talk to him. Tell him how you feel.”

“I feel betrayed he would-!”

“No. _Tell him, how you feel_.”

You gaped at him, tensing in your fluster. “I-I don’t know what-”

“It’s hard for Erik to admit because you used to be his student. There’s nothing stopping you outside of your refusal to admit just how much you care from him.” You still stuttered. “Go ahead, keep denying it, but he’s trying to protect you because he can’t stand to see you hurt. I was with him watching the camera’s when you were hit. Every guard in that room was ready to swiss you had Jan and Ivete not intervened. The amount of fear that hit Erik watching a pre-recorded video of you nearly dying, frightened him to the point he immediately left to check on you.” Charles chuckled and shook his head. “As if you had been shot and in critical stasis instead of heading home to sleep off your one bruise.”

“Well it…” you mumbled kicking the wood floor. “It’s a pretty big bruise…”

“Mm.” Charles rolled his eyes while you weren’t looking. “Just please go settle this like an _adult_. If you’re worried about being rejected, you won’t be. Now if you’ll excuse me.” He spun back around back on his previous destination of breakfast.

You were left surrounded by bustling teenagers yet feeling oddly on stage. Taking a few breaths you turned back, heading to the training area you knew Erik would be in, Charles’ words echoing over and over again. You always assumed you were imagining chemistry between you two, little girl with a big dumb crush. Standing alone in the elevator you giggled to yourself, twisting anxiously and making yourself small while you fought to catch your elated breath.  

On exiting and walking to the thick steel door of the ‘Danger Room’, it sliding open to see him instructing some student, sent all that jitteriness turned on its head and suddenly you were breaking in a nervous sweat realizing what you were about to do. You stood frozen at the door watching him.

Erik’s gaze eventually met you and you smiled out of shyness. It visibly confused him, walking to you as you fought not to back out. He’d probably been expecting you to come down and yell at him some more, fight for days on that position in the X-men. Instead you were stiff in front of him, silent but smiling at the room.

Coughing you finally spoke. “I…uh…I just wanted to say…” Looking up at him, real and in front of you, you beat your shoe toe tip on the floor to stop from running. “I think maybe you were right. I-I could use a break, clear my head and…think about things.”

That took him back, a smile breaking because you were clearly hiding something. “Well I’m glad you feel that way. You should know by now I’m always right.” He teased, but all you could think about was his hand on your waist and his aftershave that stayed when he leaned to you as he spoke, so stern and so stricken with grief. Feeling way too hot under the collar you nodded, trying your hand at pretending everything was normal.

“Or maybe I’m just growing up and being all responsible.” Maybe. Maybe not as much as you’d like to be in this particular situation. Stumbling to the exit, only worrying Erik more you chimed, “Alright, gotta-go!”


	4. Chapter 4

Ed eyed you from the couch while Jan and Ivete arm wrestled on the coffee table as you told them _not_ to do _many times_ (there was no way the cheap wood would survive their victories much longer). The team had invited themselves over after hearing the news, deciding they’d opt out of the next few mission. You felt it had a lot more to do with not hurting your ego than them not being able to wing it without you. After they settled around your tiny apartment you offered dinner, but you weren’t exactly pouring your love into it.

Not taking the other two’s notice, Ed snuck around and met you by the oven of sizzling chicken and boiling noodles.

“Hey, how you doing?” You smirked because Ed knew how you were doing. Ed was empathic, a healer at the cost of his own body and mind. While he couldn’t hear your thoughts, he could feel the conflict troubling you. However if you simply said you were fine, he’d drop it entirely, going around to make you feel better like a fretful nanny. Somehow that was more annoying than admitting the truth.

Taking a deep breath you said lowly, glad Jan was too busy being at an epic stalemate with Ivete, always underestimating the will of a military brat. “I uh…it’s…”

“Hard to say?” Ed teased.

You only gave a nervous sigh with a set of eyes that said that was an understatement. “It’s just, Professor Xavier said something odd the other day…about why I’m being forced to sit out.” Ed shifted closer to help block out the battle in the next room. “Apparently Prof-…Erik, got really uncomfortable watching the rerun of the mission. I almost bit the bullet, literally.”

“Yeah!” he laughed, “You were almost human swiss!”

You gawked at his excited face, nudging him with your elbow. “Why didn’t you guys say anything!?”

Ed shrugged. “Would it have really helped you in anyway to say you almost died? I mean, it’s part of the job-”

“That’s what _I_ was saying! But…it…Erik came here afterwards to check on me.”

“Oh~!” Ed now leaned closer for the gossip. “What happened?”

Rolling your eyes, you reassured him. “Nothing. I told you he was just checking on me.”

“…even though the tapes were old and you were obviously fine.”

“Yeah.”

You really couldn’t say more, feeling your face warm from more than just the skillet, that night still haunting you with the touch on your side and the look of worry in his eyes. Being the smart fellow he was, Ed was able to piece together the lovely scandal on his own, a smirk growing the more he thought about it. “ _Oh~_.”

“Xavier said…there was nothing stopping me from admitting how I feel about him.”

“That’s good!”

You hissed under the discomfort of his approval. “Is it?” Ed shrugged. “Age difference isn’t a bother? What about that I used to be his student?”

“You’re an adult and not his student anymore. The Professor sounds pretty down with it.”

You eyed him suspiciously. “I think it’s because you telepath types have a hard time seeing things outside of the brain sometimes. It’s an odd situation Ed. And for me to just come out of nowhere and-”

“Whatever, just get it over with and tell him how you feel.”  

Biting back your frustration you mockingly announced, “You’re right, it’s just so simple!” The light in your face dropped as you motioned to the living room with your cooking fork. “Go tell Jan how you feel.”

Ed got physically stiff, glancing back at the exceptionally furry blonde who was parading around victorious, boasting and flexing his more bare muscles for Ivete to feel inferior by, only to have her jump him into a choke hold. With a steadying breath Ed came back and mumbled. “Alright, Point taken.”

After a good laugh you tried distracting yourself by flipping chicken and stirring cheesy noodles, putting veggies into a bowl with some butter and tossing it into the microwave despite Ed glaring a storm at you for such an atrocity of food taking place. Leaning back on the counter after starting it up, you sighed. “I want to tell him. I want to tell him so bad but, every time I get close I feel the need to fall back that it’s just a crush, that he doesn’t feel the same even though _The Professor Himself_ essentially told me he does.”

“Well, as my beautiful Gran-mama would say, if you’re waiting for the right moment, it is always now.”

Good advice, but the very thought caused your heart to beat right out of your chest. You groaned and slumped to the ground into the fetal position, your mist crawling around your small form to hide you.

Jan and Ivete stomped to the rim of the kitchen, Jan’s German accent heavy, genuinely concerned as he asked, “What’s with her?”

Ivete scoffed through her heavy breathing, “Looks like she’s being dramatic to me.”

You called from the shifting black blob on the ground. “I’m not! I’m just being consumed by the swirling abyss of misery and pain!”

* * *

Erik glanced at you sitting at one of the controls of the Danger room while some of the more maturing students battled back droids in a holographic environment. Your head was tipping to your shoulder and your eyes were heavy as you stared into nothing, despite an epic display of super powers being thrown about in front of you. Shaking his head Erik couldn’t help but snicker. “Bored?”

You snapped up not expecting anyone to notice. “Oh, no, of course not. I love…sitting.”

Erik turned with a smile from the safety glass and sat by you. Watching him adjusted comfortably was a quick mesmerizing act that had you steaming under the collar by the end. When he looked to you with that half smile of his you had a hard time not grinning back. “Then perhaps we can practice something Charles has been nagging me about since day one.” You tilted your head in confusion, this was certainly the first you’d heard of any nagging. “You’re abilities shouldn’t come from a place of fear.”

That almost got a chuckle out of you. “Well, they don’t really, not anymore.” You hadn’t been afraid of the dark for years now. Shadows were your ally and your toy, what was there to fear in them but yourself.

A sinking knowing feeling filled Erik. “Then where do they come from?”

Trying to find a nice way to put it had you shifting in your seat. “Anger, I guess. I don’t know, it just seems to conjure the best results in snap decision situations.”

“I understand.” He sighed. “Anger is a powerful, easily obtained emotion. But it shouldn’t come from there either.” A small smirk came to him. “Lest you risk entire days of forcing yourself to stay angry, and that’s a headache believe me.” While you bashfully turned away from his charming smile, he didn’t, unable to tear himself away from the humored bite on your lip. Clearing his throat to gather himself, he asked, his leg starting to bounce out his nerves. “Do you have a favorite memory? A moment you cherish in dark times?”

Your smile faded, eyes losing their edge as you thought of a time before the mansion. There was nothing viable before Erik and Ororo picked you up off the street. Even that day, being picked up by strangers to live in a mansion was so bombarded with so many emotions, you felt weird and scared that day being led into your new dorm room. Finding your mutant ability, while a wonderful thing to find, had also been very frightening to get used to. The day you were accepted into the X-men? It was a good memory, but ‘cherished in dark times’?

Nothing flashed in your mind that invoked that kind of feeling.

Erik watched your long search, feeling more concerned as you gradually became sullen, struggling so hard to find an answer. “Nothing? You can’t think of a single moment in time you hold above all others?” You looked away shamefully, heart feeling heavy. Erik was quick to lean forward toward you. “It’s alright. Sometimes we can forget these things.” You didn’t want to admit maybe they just didn’t exist.

A hand wrapped around yours, bringing you out of the disappointment in yourself when you looked at his calm and inviting face. “I found a way to bring your abilities out in the first place, I’ll find a way to make them grow too.”

You allowed a small grin to let him know you at least appreciated the determination. But if that memory was vital, you feared it wasn’t going to happen.


	5. Chapter 5

The woods were quiet today. The high standing sun bright against the pure blue of the sky and on the thick green leaves, warm bark and soil rich in life and the wind the occasional whisper. The only thing to disrupt the scene was the wall of swirling black deep inside, chilling to look into, the foreboding feeling a nightmare would jump from it.

Charles and Hank stopped at the forest’s edge next to Erik. “Any change?”

“No. Nothing’s changed at all.” He resented the disappointment that leaked into his tone.

Charles hummed, “Well, I suppose that means (Y/N)’s very content right now. I wonder if she asked Ivete how to properly meditate, she’s good at it.”

“Just means she’s not doing all that I asked…”

Looking up at Erik, Charles smirked seeing how stiff he was, frustrated with not being able to help you the way he wanted, at a loss of how to to do so without overstepping certain boundaries. “Go easy on her. There’s a process to these things-”

“Why don’t you just show her a memory?” Erik abruptly asked, Charles glaring annoyed at him. “She doesn’t think there’s been anything good in her life, if you-”

“Like you didn’t?” Charles snarked as revenge for the interruption.

Erik held his jaw tight, looking away almost shamed. “Yes. Like I didn’t.” he mumbled, looking back into the shifting void amidst the trees.

Sighing back in his seat Charles admitted, “I don’t want to help you on this one. She’s special to you.”

“She’s not-”

“This should be done between you and her. Your own way, helping discovering  _her_ own way.” The more Erik swayed, nerves coming off him in tidal waves, Charles chuckled quietly.

This normally wasn’t so hard for him. He’d trained dozens of students, brought out the inner strength of so many, but it was usually a means of bringing out their anger with it. Erik didn’t want to do that to you, he didn’t want to turn you into him. Why it was so important this one singular time was beyond him.

“It’s not beyond you.” Erik snapped his head down, Charles sympathetically smiling behind his hand. “You  _know_ why it matters so much.”

The discomfort jumped to a level he wanted to just crawl away to another planet and never return. Whispering he admitted. “I can’t do that. She’s my student.”

Hank finally piped up, sounding so casual about the subject. “She’s an adult. What’s her choice is her choice.”

Looking annoyed between the two, Charles gestured in agreement and Hank shrugged. The worst part was knowing the two had been thinking about this long enough to come to this conclusion. Charles opened his mouth to continue but Erik desperately didn’t want to hear it.

“I’m done talking about this.” Erik started headlong into the black aura, shoulders slumped high to hide the red blooming on his neck. As he walked in, using the strange electric sensor the mist caused to map his way around the trees and ferns, the sunlight started glittering through to help reveal the way but he spoke out to you, feeling you a good couple of rooms distance ahead.

“You don’t need to recede it.”

“But how will you find me?”

“I have my ways.”

Finding an empty spot next to you, he sat, huffing and getting comfortable in the peace utter nothingness brought. The wind still brushed his skin, touched by the sun, the leaves gently shifting above and the simple presence of you next to him. It was your presence that kept throwing him off, the thought of you so close and how you two were utterly alone, even from Charles.

“One day you’ll have to tell me how you do that.” You bumped his shoulder. “You seem nervous.”

“Nervous?” He scoffed. “More like… humbled.”

“Someone teasing you?” He hummed running his hands through the grass and feeling the moving space tingle behind his eyes. “Want me to go scare them?”

It brought a laugh to him, all the embarrassment of falling for one of his students slipping away to remembering why he did. “I wasn’t aware I needed a protector.”

“Even big bad fugitives could use someone to watch their back! Think of me like your  _shadow_ ~”

Rolling his eyes and shaking his head you giggled at your own joke, “I swear (Y/N), if I had a penny for every time someone made a pun on their own mutation, I would be able to buy my own mansion to lock myself away in and never have to hear a single one ever again.”

You laughed harder, the inky cloud receding on it’s own with your loss of concentration. Erik noticed, finding odd that apparently you weren’t at your natural radius like he thought. “(Y/N).” You hummed to attention. “You picked the woods as a starting place. Can you tell me why? Does it have to do with something personal in your life?”

There was a pause from you, clearly thinking of a way around admitting too much about your life. The cloud grew again, back to where it had been. Anger, Erik thought helplessly.

“Honestly, it was the only good thing… before. Being homeless and… or with my parents.” You gulped, shoulders and back sagging as you traveled back in your mind. “I’d run away from everything for a break, into the heart of the forest behind our trailer. I did it to a point I just didn’t return home one night. Something about the woods just feels so, clean. And back there… it wasn’t.”

Erik’s jaw was clamped tight. Part of him wanted to hold you, wanted to press you so he could unleash all his hell on all the pain in your past. But Erik knew, as he knew himself, none of that would give the comfort you needed. Instead he sighed his frustration, the words starting to slip out. “I can understand that.”

The sunlight started to seep in like a beam, too bright at first but when his eyes adjusted, he could see the branches and leaves above, the golden sun all framed in a black circle, just you and him sitting on a batch of grass. You looked to him, showing your curiosity and he looked back, the sympathetic grin coming on its own that he aimed to the ground.  

“While I was being experimented on at the camp, in Germany,” He caught your eyes drop to the tag on his arm. It may have been covered by his shirt sleeve but you’d seen it before, you knew that part of his life existed. “They tried for a while to leave me alone in this junk yard. They told me to ‘play’…but I’d forgotten what that word really meant. So I walked around, touching all the forgotten things, thinking up stories for what something like a car, or a bike, or a cradle looked like and held before it arrived there. They wanted me to practice my abilities but,” He sighed. “No one was there. I heard no one screaming and I saw no one being beaten or killed or… It may have been cemented in with high walls and barbed wire but in my imagination, I was free for that hour.”

The corner of your lips was turned up just slightly, a sad but understanding look in your eyes as you looked down, reminiscing, “It’s funny how we’re able to find these small moments of peace despite what’s lurking behind us.”

Hesitant at first, Erik reached over, slipping his hand in yours. You glanced at it, your fingers going slack to take him, gently curling to hold him back. When he spoke it was soft and patient. “I want you to think about those moments, the reason they bring so much peace to you despite all the anger everything surrounding it brings you. Find a place, between rage, and serenity.”

You scoffed, “Can a place like that really exist?”

As his gaze drifted along your face, seeing the real hopelessness in your eyes, they fell on your lips, making his mouth dry as he spoke, “I guess you’ll have to find it.”

Forcing his contact to break, Erik pulled back, taking his hand from yours. You gave a long sigh before closing your eyes and letting the black close in. His excuse was to offer you better concentration but as Charles always teased, he knew the real reason, how badly he wanted to pull you into his lips. Swallowing hard he chided himself. He was trying so hard to be different, to be a better man than he was before, no more cheating the rules or finding ways around them. Every attraction to you felt so natural yet so wrong. Erik still remembered when he picked you off the street bench, baby fat in your cheeks and body gangly yet pudgy in your raggedy and dirty clothes, still trying to fill in a body mixed between child and adulthood.

But it all found it’s balance. The fat sitting where it should and the bones settled in their final maturity. You cursed openly and complained about bills. He never really saw you date, but you had friends you’d buy drinks with. The question was, could he stop fully seeing you on that bench, was it right if he did?

“You’re kind of distracting.”

A smirk in your words, you sheepishly admitted again. “Your heart’s beating really fast. It’s distracting.”

“Right,” He grumbled at himself, trying to shake off all those nagging thoughts but all he was left with was what you two could do all alone in the darkness. Quickly Erik jumped up before those thoughts could really take on their own form and reveal more than his beating heart. “I will let you concentrate. Remember, a place between two worlds, something that holds the strength of both.”

You gave an approving hum, letting him leave you behind.

None of what he thought occurred to you, assuming his stiffness and discomfort was due to his thoughts of the past. Instead you missed the warmth beside you and the vibrations through the mist he slowly left behind. Taking a deep breath, finding your peace again, you listened to the birds and the wind.

The birds were different from the ones back home, their sounds sharper and much more sing song. Thinking of the crows high above the dark pine trees, you were brought back to the day you decided you weren’t going home. It was bright and warm, stumbling on a wide river that was low tide enough for you to walk along the long smooth rocks of its bed, the water running over them like a curtain. You found a large pool carved from the rapids, sliding in the chilled water, feeling the bruise on your arm and ribs soothe as you dived under.

Coming back out you looked up at the clear sky, floating in the closed off area, the stone high enough to close you in and not send you drifting down the river. You felt so safe, so displaced, like there was no where to go, like you might stay forever and ever. But you couldn’t, you didn’t actually want to. The thought of home made you angry, the sound of rushing water eased you. Cold yet warm, happy yet hopeless, the second the thought of just following the river down, of walking to the next town, of acknowledging you already knew how to survive the wilderness and the city on your own, bloomed something wonderful in your chest.

It was an immense feeling, hitting you with determination and a sense of fear, standing in the pool and looking off where the river deepened and curved out of sight. Every sound was crystal and every nerve teemed with the anticipation of moving a single foot out of the water.

By the time you came to your senses, into the present time, you felt brick walls and people stirring, the wind rushing and surrounding like the rapids, and you were staring down into an abyss that blanketed the ground and nearly encased the entirety of the mansion.

Curiosity had you concentrate more on the sensation of flying and seeing. Pulling in the cloud surrounding you, you watched it from high above slipping away back into the woods, watched people spinning around in confusion. Soon the light of the sun hit your closed eyes, yet all you saw was the green fields and the school. It felt like a waking dream, coming down over the treetops and circling where you sat in the lonely opening. The sight came down closer, landing low on the ground, not making a sound as it did.

You felt it in front of you, inches from your crossed legs, staring at yourself, feeling your consciousness more in it than your body. Slowly, as you opened your eyes it seemed to siphon back in your head, yet you forced the shape of it to stay.

Before you was a black bird, only a base shape in the light it absorbed and didn’t reflect, not even eyes to show it was real. It tilted its head, flapped its wings in a way you imagined birds to do. It was a crow you realized, like the ones that you grew up with, the ones that would give you trinkets sometimes and followed you as you traveled in the forest.

Reaching out a hand your fingers phased right through it, made of the same shadows your mist was, but somehow the personification allowed you to throw your mind into it.

Footsteps came charging behind you, skidding to a stop as you turned back. Erik was breathless, confused at the little creature before you, your fingers deep in it’s breast. You chuckled, looking back at the creation.

“I saw the school. I was high above the treetops and feeling… free.” You chuckled again, the bird dissipating like ink in water, then reforming feet above in the air, flapping in a ghostly silence. Your eyes closed as you pushed yourself into that distant form, seeing feet above yourself, Erik coming up behind you with pride in his eyes. 

He patted your shoulder and crouched down behind you, both of you chuckling in elated success. But you saw his eyes drift, warming into something more than pride. It made your blood stir and your thoughts jump, losing concentration and the bird misting away. You opened your eyes, looking behind you and you caught it for a moment, the soft longing before he reeled it back, smiling in congratulations. 

You returned it, holding back the arising conflict of should you or shouldn’t you. You didn’t, walking back and explaining all the wild sensations, unable to take your eyes off him as you were struck in wonder.


	6. Chapter 6

Taking a deep breath, you held a hand over your spinning stomach, trying to quell the beating low in your belly, thrumming hard as you realized what you were about to do. It had been a good week of not sleeping. Of babbling on and on to your team who were more ecstatic over going back in the field than your new ability or your dilemma.

You wanted to come forward to Erik now that you had caught a glimpse of just how much he saw in you, that the feelings were in fact returned and not everyone’s imagining or toying with knowing what you felt. All that was left was to get all this tension over with and move toward to…  _something_. And that something was terrifying.

Yet when you stood outside the door to his classroom, a room you once had to sit in to learn history, you fiddled with the buttons of your shirt, asking yourself if you were really going to do this, would he really respond to you, even if he wanted to?

When the door suddenly opened you startled, teens flooding out, some nodding a familiar hello to you. Catching your breath, you peeked in. It hadn’t changed so much, sending a wave of nostalgia to see the rows of desks and his large one always cluttered in the back where he called out kids passing notes. 

The windows had always spilled the perfect lighting to ogle him as he talked away and you’d barely listen. It always gave you an excuse to stay late after class, getting lectured if you wanted to be an X-men you’d need to get better grades. The nostalgia lead you in, skirting quietly around the edge with a small smile even as the memories brought about apprehension, some fear you were about to ruin something dear.

The student chatting with him about extra credit caught you, the redhead growing a mischievous smirk before politely dismissing herself. Watching her go lead Erik to you, him grinning wide to find you, yet you startling again when the door shut.

It didn’t bother Erik any, swiveling in his chair to give you his full attention, looking so relaxed and ready to tease you. It had been quite a long while since you two had met in the classroom.

“Um.” you started, fiddling a little, you kept telling yourself you should go. But it would look so strange now if you did. But would confessing really be worth it if he wasn’t ready, how could he be ready if he didn’t know-

A warm hand fell on your shoulder, bringing you back. Standing before you was Erik’s reassuring smile, a hint of playful concern in his eyes as you looked up at him in a small terror, again simply stuttering, “U-um…” and then looking down whispering, “Okay, okay…” and a finally snapped up your head up and a proclaiming louder than necessary, “WANNA SPARE?”

Scoffing, Erik asked, “What?”

A bit calmer you tried to stumble over your own crappy save, “Would you like to spare? I-I feel like I should with my new ability a-and I’d like to try it against you.”

Erik was so confused, obviously and understandably. You gulped under his interrogative stare before he retracted his hand into a defensive cross of the arms. “You think just because you can see me at a different angle you’ll kick my ass this round?”

Feeling loads better by not admitting your affection, you found your pride, even if he didn’t know it was kicked across the floor into the dust. “There’s only one way to find out.”

Chuckling, he moved around you, “Alright, Scott was being a pain in the ass with his shameless flirting anyway, I could use a decent fight.”

Sighing in both disappointment and relief, you followed him out, letting him start a small conversation involving your friends excitement. Across the hall, the redhead was standing, looking cross with you as soon as you exited.

_Really?_

Your mouth dropped offended and you screamed in your head, _I’m doing my best!_

With a smirk she rolled her eyes at you,  _I have a bet going so do better._

You were thinking more to yourself when you asked, _Does everyone in the mansion know?_

_Yes._

You glared at her until Erik brought you out with a question, having no idea what was going on in your head and your heart. Hell, you didn’t even know what was going on. For some reason your pulse jumped when you entered the locker room to suit up. You kept wracking your brain over and over, what were you doing here, how were you suppose to tell him, why did your brain jump to this instead of a date? What was wrong with you?

He felt the same you reminded yourself, this shouldn’t be that hard.

Stepping out into the large steel room, you didn’t see him, adjusting your glove before the door shut on it’s own. Turning back Erik was leaning against the wall, looking positively devious. He was going to win, he always won.

It was hard not to mirror the attitude, swinging your hip to one side as he walked to you, measuring you up as he closed the distance, “I hope you uncovered something else in that forest, otherwise you’re just asking for a free beating. Maybe I’ll let you get something out of it, place a bet against yourself for a 20?”

“I’ll accept my defeat with a  _little_ dignity thank you.” the black spilled from you as you stepped back, slowly creeping out the lights above but not encompassing him. You found in the past putting him in a dome lessened his chances to find you, Hank almost told you why until Erik covered his mouth and explained it would be ‘funnier’ this way.

You took your steps, light as a feather as you rounded in the layer of shadow, closing your eyes and forcing your mind to separate, apparite in the shade of the crow and fly faster around, reaching behind him where you felt him shift. Your moving consciousness seemed to leave its own reverberations, distracting him.

Erik leapt into the shadows, forcing you to move, opening pockets to lose him and summoning the crow on top of you, splitting it so he didn’t know which direction you were taking.

He didn’t fall for the bait, lunging at you, spinning your back to his chest, panting behind you, “So soon? And here I thought you’d put up a fight-”

In a hop, you flipped him over your back, Erik landing with a hard thud. Slipping away through the blacked out maze you giggled, “Fight? I just gotta out last you old man.”

“Old man?” he grunted, rolling back to his feet, “with age comes wisdom.”

Like ghosts, you felt things, shrapnel shifting through the shadows, too quickly for your senses to really process. You felt him moving too but it was clouded, only able to focus for short periods enough to change your direction. The metal littered around you, shifting like a radar to point him in the right direction.

In a breath you stopped running, separating again, but this time you kept it just above you. From there you tried to split it again but it only grew, at the very least encompassing your body and a little more, masking your unmoved position.

You heard his footsteps slow, his breathing catch as his makeshift map was disrupting around an orb much larger than a person or a bird. “Hm. Clever.”

Erik walked into the barrier, your senses were impossibly heightened to the point the air was knocked out of you. It wasn’t just a disturbance, you felt every shift and fiber of his suit, heard his heart beating in your ears and saw the sweat on his skin. Feeling every step touch the ground and twitch of his fingers, the softness of his hair sent shivers through you, his exhale felt down your neck. 

It was too overwhelming, gasping and retracting, all of it. The shadows dispersed from the whole room as you shook your woozy head.

“You alright?” blinking rapidly you came back to Erik, him smirking with a hand out in case you started tipping.

“Yeah it just,” you shook your head again, stumbling until a pair of hands held you up, “whoa that felt weird.”

You both chuckled as you steadied on your feet, feeling oddly cold and numb. When you lifted your still swimming head you were greeted by his gentle smile, his hands still holding you feeling so warm and strong.

“You ready to keep going?”

You thought about it, thought about backing away from his touch, from going to bed knowing the next day would be the same as all the others. Your facade crumbled and your frustrations fell bare, “I-I can’t do this anymore.”

But you couldn’t do this while facing him directly. The shadows engulfed you both, Erik looking around lost before your hands came up to cup his face, bringing him to you.

While your adrenaline had been pretty thick in your veins, it spiked painfully in all your doubt and fear, in the touch of his lips on yours like you imagined thousands and thousands of times, but this was real and so tantalizing to just rest in this moment forever.

Erik was stiff against you, his grip on your arms solid, not pushing you away. As your lips slipped away from his, they tightened more, unsure to keep you, but terrified of you leaving. His sigh shook against your skin, pulling you back into him as the darkness held, blocking everyone and everything from the knowledge of what he wanted to take.

Feeling him take you, kiss you of his own volition sent you dizzy, caving your body against his. You gave a small moan as his hand cupped your neck, tilting his head and deepening the kiss. Your hands ran up and down his side, pulling on his hips, not shying away from all your fantasies not measuring up in the least and taking all the affection he offered, no matter how hesitance drifted to taking you aggressively.

The lights started to sprinkle through as you couldn’t think enough to keep the barrier, and as it hit his eyelids Erik tore himself back.

He was as breathless as you were, running his fingers along his damp lips as he looked anywhere but you.

“Erik…” he turned away but you enveloped him in darkness again, “Please, I’ve been holding onto this for what seems like forever. I know you feel the same way-”

“It’s inappropriate.” he gulped, running a hand up his face. “Even if you are an adult now, you were my student once, it’s the principal of the thing.”

Taking a cautious step to him you tried to reassure him as you’ve always reassured yourself, “Well I happen to know a couple of telepath’s who don’t feel that way.”

He scoffed, “That’s because they’re telepaths, they don’t always see things on the outside.” 

Your hand fell on his wrist, so desperate to hold him. “I know.” At the least he turned to you, rigid as he was to respond. “We can take things however you need to. I just needed you to know, I need for us to react on this in someway, anyway.” Breathing out the pain you added, his kiss and hands still tingling you and swimming in your memory, “You can say we need to drop it entirely if that’s what you want, all I need is to know how you feel.”

Gently his hand came to entwine in your fingers, relaxing in your grip as he turned a little more. You sighed as his other came to grip your chin, hovering so close to your lips you nearly caved to temptation and took the distance. But it needed to be his choice, and the longer he waited, breathing so subtly you thought he might be holding his breath, you felt him retract. “I…” his hands released you, stepping back as he mumbled. “I need to think about this.”

Licking your dry lips you nodded, “Alright.” dispersing the shadows as he walked away.


End file.
